*originally published on my old blog. reposted here to kick off my new one.
I left the world of PR four years ago, but old habits linger. The first draft
of this post read like a standard issue press release, “Om Home has announced
that Toni Brem Mullen has decided to leave the company to pursue other
projects….” Meh. Here’s the more vulnerable truth.
For the past year, my head and my body
have been disconnected. My body was telling me something – typical eating,
sleeping issues – but I was numb to the message. I was exhausted and
overwhelmed, yet still embraced the chaos that three kids and a new business
wrought – I was “leaning in” and loving it (high-five Sheryl Sandberg!).
But then something shifted.
Three months ago, my daughter, Marlowe, was diagnosed with a genetic deletion.
Of her twenty-three chromosomes, she’s missing chromosome 15, the maternal one.
This is called Angelman syndrome, and if you’ve met Marlowe you’d agree, she’s
absolutely angelic.
Before you click away to look up
Angelman, trust that nothing online depicts who she is and what her
possibilities are. Right now, what it means is that she is developmentally
delayed, and we’ve begun to reach out to therapists to help her communicate and
connect with her body. For now, it means that I don’t have the capacity to
continue with Om; I realize now I never did.
As Marlowe is learning to connect with her body, I’m learning to re-connect
with mine.
*
I was inspired to partner with Oorbee Roy after taking a course called the Landmark
Forum. I left the course talking, as my husband often teases, in the language
of possibility. Working with Oorbee on the development of Om’s Kids Collection,
I wanted our products to be about more than just fabulous patterns. I was tired
of walking into a store and seeing products so rigidly merchandised boy vs
girl. I wanted our stuff to enable kids to just be, free to create their own
possibilities, without the framework of expectations that can come with
gendered products. I’m sure Oorbee thought I was ca-razy.
And now with Marlowe, I’m still inspired by possibility. The words we use, just
like the clothes we wear, tell a story, create an expectation. Language is
powerful. I’ve caught myself sharing with friends about how I worried as early
as two months that something might be wrong. Wrong? I’m much more careful with
my words now. Nothing is wrong with Marlowe. She is just different. Aren’t we
all aspiring to be special?
Marlowe may never communicate with many words, but she does communicate – I
hear her delight as she begins each day with a cuddle from her brother Charlie;
I see how her body shakes with excitement when daddy comes home from work; I feel
how her body relaxes when I stroke her face. There is so much light and love in
her. And when I am sad, and look into her glorious blue and golden eyes, it’s as
if she's telling me, “Don't cry, Mommy, I am ok. Everything is perfect.” And
she’s right.
So, goodbye, Om Home. I’m so tremendously proud of what Oorbee and I have accomplished
in the past two years, two of the longest/shortest years of my life. I often
look at photos parents have shared and marvel how real this business is. Two
moms had an idea and against all odds it resonated.
Thank you friends for supporting us. Thank you, Oorbee, for the opportunity.
And thank you to my perfect little girl for helping me see clearly.
It’s ok to feel sad – I’m very sad to
walk away from this business, but through this sadness I’ve opened myself to
joy.
Toni
- 30 -
Ps. Click here for the Movement4Marlowe campaign.
